Of Men and Man-Children

We've talked about action heroes recently around here, so as the natural progression (or regression?) dictates, the time has come to talk about lovers. Ok, so it's really not the progression, it's more the fact that I've been thinking about this post for over a year now, and well, it's high time. And reading the beginning of this excellent post about the evolution of love stories over the decades reminded me of it.

Rockstar - my favourite love story lately

It's hard to ignore the fact that for the past 10 years of Indian cinema a new prototype of hero/lover has evolved, and it's more or less adequately summarized in one word: the man-child, defined as an immature grown man who still has no direction in life, nor much emotional maturity. Without getting into how generation Y is probably the biological father of this character, while globalization is its mother, we'll have to accept the fact that for the past decade it's been the back-bone of most love stories. And some non-love-stories too!

Wake Up Sid! - the title says it all

Gone are the days when fate or a fortuitous chain of events would finally unite the lovers who had agreed to call it quits for the sake of their families. Gone are the days when the crushed lover was willing to let the girl he loved walk away with the other man, and if we still see that man, he is no longer the hero, he has become the other man, pushed somewhere in the background while the main couple holds the sympathy of the audience firmly away from him. Sure we get all kinds of excuses for it: he was abusive (City of God), he was cheating (Kismat Konnection), he was too boring (I Hate Luv Storys), he was not really in love with her (Mere Brother Ki Dulhan), and sometimes no excuse is even needed (Rockstar), but the general rule is that it's the hero's right to get the girl. He certainly seems to think so. And it's this sense of entitlement that is, I feel, the first and most important trait of the man-child.

Sure, there's something to be said for his immaturity, as well as for his self-centered-ness, or for his fear of commitment. These are admittedly all important for his characterization, but unlike the sense of entitlement, they're nothing new. And this is also something that puzzles me personally, because there are few things I hate more in this world than entitlement. And yet... and yet, I am always on the side of the man-child, no matter how spoiled and obnoxious he is.

Dil Chahta Hai - the movie that started it all!

Thinking back about the lover prototype of the 90s/early 2000, one thing seemed to consistently annoy me in all the movies that I couldn't avoid from that decade (though for the most part I did well with avoiding them): the hero's helplessness. Devdas and his eternal self-pity, Raj willing to give up his Simran because the parents said so, Sameer's departure for similar reasons, even Ram giving up Sita for the sake of his people and his honour. All examples of the kind of man I would despise. What use do I have, as a woman, for a man who will not fight for me? How is this coward the ideal husband? Maybe that's why despite their extreme OTT-ness, I found Aamir Khan's old movies more palatable: he never did play the hero that just gives up. For all the ridiculousness of the chair-marriage in Dil, the man at least had the balls to stick to his guns. Don't get me wrong, I avoid those as well (sorry Aamirou), but when I do watch them, I appreciate that at least I don't have to yell at my TV screen: GROW A BACKBONE ALREADY!!

Devdas - It doesn't get much more pathetic than this

I don't know if it's my generation, my upbringing, my star sign or something altogether different, but giving up is not something I would ever have sympathy for. And my real life aversion for weak people seems to translate to my filmi preferences as well. So for all his alleged cuteness (I suppose that's a matter of taste with actors like SRK and Salman), I cannot cheer for a hero who puts his hands up and goes to mope in a corner. Unless of course, she's the one pushing him away, in which case insisting would turn into stalking and we all know how much I hate that.

So I guess when I think about it this way, I'm not really admiring the new hero's sense of entitlement, but rather his willingness to stay and fight once he finds the one thing he cares about. Whether it's through ridiculous and completely implausible plot twists, a la Break Ke Baad, or through hilariously complicated plans a la Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, or with the wild determination of a jungle predator a la Ghajini, or just by speaking up a la Dil Chahta Hai, I find myself always attracted to this hero who doesn't know what quitting means. Obviously all this goes for the heroine too, though sometimes I can understand her weakness where I would have zero tolerance for his. Still, it's much nicer if she is as determined as him.

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan - a most tenacious pair!

On the other side of the coin, it occurs to me that this is most likely why I hated Mausam. But let's not digress.

Yes, he's a man-child, and yes, he needs to do some growing up, and yes, he will probably do at least 2 or 3 offensive things in the course of the movie, but when it's all said and done I am guaranteed to not see him feeling sorry for himself until the girl decides to call it off. And even then, in most cases, that's the catalyst for his growth (whether it's growing up, growing stronger, or growing famous), so you never get that sense of self-inflicted helplessness from him.

I don't mind spoiled brats. Of course, we'd never work out in real life, but they do rather amuse me on screen. I do however get an irresistible urge to slap them when they turn out to be quitters too, on top of being brats. And this seems to be the difference between me hating Devdas and loving Dev D. Between unabashedly despising Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and embracing Jab We Met. Between thinking Dil To Pagal Hai's ending is a lame cop-out and finding the ending of Dil Chahta Hai exhilarating. And let's not even try to pit Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge versus Rockstar. Talk about going for it!

Jab We Met - selflessness done right

Now don't get me wrong, before the desis start explaining to me the importance of family, honour and "doing the right thing", let me preemptively state that I am vigorously of the opinion that no one who loves you should ever stand in the way of your happiness. Also, in terms of parenting, I firmly believe that the young ones should be allowed to make their own mistakes, though feel free to practice your "I told you so" diction in the mirror all you want in anticipation of their failure. So with that in mind, I guess it boils down to: why care about the family honour when the family couldn't care less about your happiness? And if others do and can relate to these heroes, so be it. I just don't think I will ever be persuaded to.

If I absolutely have to have a Raj, I'll take Saawariya's Raj, despite all the film's faults, because at the end of it all, he's still boxing with unhappiness.

Saawariya - so many things wrong with this one, but what a memorable Raj!

If I have to talk about a noble soul who gives up the woman he loves, I'll talk about Jab We Met's Aditya Kashyap who goes on to make something of his life as a result of his heart-break. If I am to love a quitter, I will choose Lakshya's Karan who, despite his completely unrealistic trajectory, makes a strong case for learning from one's failures. And if I am to cheer for a man who chooses the honour of his family over the happiness of the woman he loves, I'll choose Pinjar's Rashid because he more than makes up for it.

Pinjar - another favourite love story, and don't think there are that many!

While they may not all be man-children per se (unless we broaden the definition to encompass all emotional immaturity), they all go against the norm of the mopey, honourable end-of-century lover as made famous by Shah Rukh Khan, though far be it from me to lay the blame solely on him. It was definitely a trend everyone was a part of, he just happened to be the most famous, and therefore his movies are the hardest to avoid. So you know, I tend to rip on him more, but the problem extends to most movies from the 90s and early 2000s.

Taal - Oh, don't even get me started!

I find that the past decade has happily solved this problem for me! They may have brought in the slacker to replace the struggler, and the video-games player to replace the hard working college student, but hey, it's the SMS generation, isn't it? There is a short cut for everything, values and ethics have definitely changed.

Tere Bin Laden - how do you not love this slacker? And see, it doesn't even have to be a love story!

I must say I do love this generation. It's not just that I love the actors and the fact that they refuse, for the most part, to be stuck in the same role, but I also love this spirit of independence, this effervescence and yes, this streak of immaturity about it. On and off screen.

I love that they want the world and they think there's no reason why they shouldn't get it. Yup, I'll take the immature fighter over the mature, righteous quitter. Any day.

Road, Movie - what a classic!

Wake Up (Sid) Aisha! Review

I've been wanting to rewatch Wake Up Sid for a couple of months, but it always felt like I should watch something new instead. Until this week one night I knew I had no energy or brain power for anything new, so rewatching something for an hour or so seemed ideal. Little did I know that I'd get so excited about watching it that I'd end up sitting through the whole thing despite the late hour and that I would have to resist the urge to play it again when it was over.

I guess it's obvious by now that I'm a huge sucker for subtlety. Probably why melodrama classics like Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam only manage to make me laugh, and that's only on a very good day. Films that don't look like they're trying too hard on the other hand, win me over by default. I like films that speak to me in soft images, and actors that communicate in little gestures. And Wake Up Sid is exactly one such film.

Namak: You mean except for the cheesy picturizations of Kya Karoon and Life Is Crazy, right? Because if we're talking cliches, I wonder how many more times we have to see people showing they're carefree by popping their whole upper body out the car window during a drive, and how many times those walls in Aisha's apartment could have been splashed with a million colours that no primer will ever be able to cover effectively.

Dolce: Oh, that's true, but tell me the yellow walls didn't remind you of home!

Namak: Our first bachelor apartment with vanilla yellow and mandarin orange painted walls? Yes! That did bring back memories.

Dolce: See, it's not all bad!

I wonder if this is now my favourite Ranbir Kapoor movie? Just when I thought I couldn't think any higher of him, I rewatched this movie and fell in love with him all over again.

Namak: I can't believe we called his looks unfortunate the first time we watched this. What were we thinking?

Dolce: You know what is still unfortunate about him in this movie though? That he doesn't get to dance until the end credits, and even then it's hardly a proper dance number, as fun as it may be. But his looks are definitely nowhere near unfortunate.

He pulls off the most subtle performance I've seen from him in Wake Up Sid. There's an innocence and a sincerity in it that he couldn't even muster up in his first film, Saawariya. The fact that Aisha lays down the ground rules about being just friends from the first 5 minutes of their story translates in Ranbir only having stolen glances at his disposal to reveal his feelings for Aisha to us. One gets a pretty good idea of his determination to prove himself to Aisha, but it's only his eyes that tell us why. And that wonderful drunken moment...

I could talk about Ranbir Kapoor in this role all day and not get tired of praising him, but for once maybe I'll refrain from that... so I leave it at: Ranbir is nothing short of perfect as Sid.

Because as much as Sid is the centre of attention and his journey fills up the film like a balloon in too small a box, the story isn't only about Sid discovering life, it's also about Aisha discovering love. It may be "Wake Up Sid", but Aisha also wakes up to find her inner child and to realize that independent and serious don't have to be synonyms. I find her journey equally interesting.

Konkona Sen Sharma as Aisha gets to be her usual confident self with a little bit of a soft side, and ever so unaware of just how much the camera loves her. In this case, both the director's camera and Sid's.


If anything, Aisha makes Sid's journey backwards: starting off as the confident, mature woman, and ending up as an antsy teenager. She goes from feeling safe and uninhibited in their friendship to feeling shy and just a little bit insecure, which makes her feisty and moody. She goes from thinking she knows what she wants to finding out that getting excited about old Hindi film songs may be childish, but it's also nothing to be ashamed of. I especially loved the progression from her uneasiness in front of Sid's camera in their first scene, to her coquettish posing in one of the songs towards the end.


Speaking of photography, that's something else that impressed me about the movie. Bollywood is not exactly famous for showcasing art within art.Take away the singing and the dancing and the other arts are rather poorly represented in films. So to have one that does justice to photography is no small thing. Of course, they could have done a crash course with Ranbir about how to hold a camera without looking like he's holding a soccer ball, but well... can't have it all, because where would you put it, right?

Namak: Don't you feel gypped that they didn't include a mini photo album with all of Sid's pictures with the DVD?

Dolce: Considering I have postcards of Jodhaa Akbar and Taare Zameen Par, Lagaan official filmstrips and even an Anjaana Anjaani poster, you bet I feel ripped off that these guys didn't think of it. Especially when the cinematographer comes up with some of the most creative images in this one. For example call me crazy, but I'm always up for having random chicken thrown in the mix.

Wow, that was random. But that is exactly the type of thing that makes Wake Up Sid such an invigorating little film. That and every single scene and image in it. And Ranbir Kapoor rocking my world... Oh, and to think I haven't even touched on how Iktara and Kya Karoon have never left my "top 25 most played songs" list since the film came out...

It was easy to find a cheese for wake Up Sid! Of course it had to be my favourite cheese: Brie. Tasty but not overpowering. Soft but not messy. Delicate and special but dependable and unpretentious at the same time. I love the understated taste of Brie cheese about as much as I loved the subtlety of Wake Up Sid!. And I can't imagine ever tiring of either.


ETA: This is as good a place as any to mention that my Ranbir Kapoor avatars page is finally up. Yay! Next up: Mumaith Khan!

In Praise of All Filmi Women Who Have My Respect

It's entirely possible that my DNA slept in when the feminism gene got distributed because I can't bring myself to ever be much of a feminist. In fact I often find myself siding with the guy, even when he's a jerk (granted, only if he ends up redeeming himself somehow), so women tend to get overlooked by me.

In light of a few recent conversations about female roles in cinema - and not necessarily in Indian cinema - I started thinking about what can be said in defense of the depiction of women in Indian cinema. (I will unfortunately have to talk exclusively about Bollywood, because given the nature of the action packed, hero-heavy Southie movies I have watched so far, the women in the South have not yet managed to impress me.) And I reached the somewhat surprising conclusion that I like certain Indian ladies much more than their American counterparts. While in North American movies (and TV shows) being an independent, powerful woman has become synonymous with being a bitch, or hating men, or at least with being a cheeky brat (can you tell the latest HW movie I've seen was Prince of Persia?), the few characters that did impress me in Bollywood in the strong woman avatar achieved that without hitting any of the above pre-requisites. I have more respect for those few Women in Indian cinema than for the million females in Western cinema because for me being an attractive woman implies managing to balance smarts with sensitivity and sweetness.

Zooni (played by Kajol) in Fanaa and Dia (played by Madhuri Dixit) in Aaja Nachle are the first women who come to mind that strike that fine balance.

Zooni knows how to put relentless Rehan in his place but without once becoming snarky or cheeky. She manages to rebuff him (with poetry too!) while still remaining accessible and interesting. And she does wonderfully as a capable single mother in the second half of the movie. This is a woman who will not let destiny tell her what to do and where to be, and it's almost ironic that Rehan teases her in the beginning about only doing what her parents advised her to. Boy does she prove him wrong! Regardless of how many ways to interpret the ending of the movie there are out there, one thing is for sure: Zooni sticks to her principles throughout the entire journey, all while living life to the fullest, and I for one respect that.

I have very similar feelings for Madhuri's character, Dia, in Aaja Nachle because despite being just a little bit on the snarky side, she graciously dances her way through being a single mother and a successful professional in the US while not losing that feminine side of her personality. Even if she sometimes manages her own interactions with men "the American way", her Indian feminine side comes through when she coaches Anokhi to get the attention of the man she loves. I suppose it also helps that this is the sexiest Madhuri has ever looked too!

There are other great examples of women being dealt a bad hand and proving that giving up is not an option, but that neither is turning bitter and resentful. However, not all women become strong because fate doesn't give them a choice. Some Indian ladies are wonderful, cool, uncompromising women from the very beginning. In this category I have also picked two favourites: Aisha in Wake Up Sid! and Jodhaa in Jodhaa Akbar.

Aisha lives by herself, makes it on her own terms and despite not having many friends in a new city, she doesn't rely on anyone to rescue her. Most importantly she's capable of seeing and appreciating the change in Sid when other women would have probably walked away. She can be playful and sexy as needed, and when she makes a mistake in evaluating a potential relationship with a man, she is confident enough to call it. I liked that even when she is upset or displeased with Sid (and there's a lot of that, let me tell you) she still communicates without excessive bitterness or unnecessary spite. What is there not to love? One of my favourite Konkona Sen Sharma roles.

Jodhaa is my last entry on this short list that is just the tip of the iceberg. The Rajput princess won me over with her determination and valour, spiced by a little bit of mischief and just a sprinkle of flirt to complement her majestic beauty. She stands her ground in front of the most powerful man on the continent and wins every battle without having to become a man or behave like one.

I realized after giving this some thought that as much as we always point out that Bollywood is eons behind when it comes to empowering the fair sex, they have a knack for getting it exactly right when they do put their minds to it. The last female character that charmed me so completely in Hollywood was Baz Luhrman's Juliet, and guess what: neither Baz nor Shakespeare hail from Hollywood!